Brazilium -- the Miracle Ingredient

Don't bother looking for brazilium at your local garden store.  It's only available in South America, for people who speak Brazilian Portuguese.  Brazilium is the amazing trace element which makes even the snippiest, grumpiest brazilian gesneriad suddenly sprout hundreds of flowers.

Having trouble getting S. gerdtiana to bloom?  Can't get even one dang flower out of Paliavana prasinata?  Trying to grow a napeanthus?

No problem.  Just move to Brazil, learn the language, absorb the local customs, and in mere decades you too will know where to obtain brazilium.

It appears that Bill Price, of Vancouver, British Columbia, has a secret source.  If the darn guy just lived in the US, we could discover that source by getting the National Security Administration to tap his phone.  As it is, however, we'll just have to commit envy, and mutter darkly about deals with Mephistopheleanthus.